Well I wake up this morning I rolled out of bed
  I felt like a dog who's been kicked in the head
  Checked out my mail there was letter that read
  Love for sale, love for sale
    I picked up the phone I called everyone I could
  I let my fingers do the walking through the telephone book
  You can't catch a fish if you ain't got the hook
  Love for sale, love for sale
    Send up a signal throw me a line
  Somebody explain " this funny Valentine"
  It might not be signal but it sure ain't a crime
  I'm one step from crazy and two steps behind
    I called Lt. Columbo from my TV set
  I've tried the Dating Game I haven't found her yet
  I'm hoping that she's looking like a Penthouse Pet
  Love for sale, love for sale
    [Solo]
    We've been living together 3 years,
  2 hours, 20 minutes maybe four houndred beers
  You can't shop for love when you're shopping at, Sears
  Love for sale, love for sale
    I guess I've learnt my lesson it was easy to see
  My old lady she played this joke on me
  I never looked where I forgot it would be
  Love for sale, love for sale