I make my living off the Evening News
  Just give me something-something I can use
  People love it when you lose,
  They love dirty laundry
  
  Well, I coulda been an actor, but I wound up here
  I just have to look good, I don't have to be clear
  Come and whisper in my ear
  Give us dirty laundry
  
  Kick 'em when they're up
  Kick 'em when they're down
  Kick 'em when they're up
  Kick 'em when they're down
  Kick 'em when they're up
  Kick 'em when they're down
  Kick 'em when they're up
  Kick 'em all around
  
  We got the bubble-headed-bleach-blonde
  comes on at five
  She can tell you 'bout the plane crash with a gleam in her eye
  It's interesting when people die
  Give us dirty laundry
  
  Can we film the operation?
  Is the head dead yet?
  You know, the boys in the newsroom got a
  running bet
  Get the widow on the set!
  We need dirty laundry
  
  You don't really need to find out what's going on
  You don't really want to know just how far it's gone
  Just leave well enough love
  Eat your dirty laundry
  
  Kick 'em when they're up
  Kick 'em when they're down
  Kick 'em when they're up
  Kick 'em when they're down
  
  Kick 'em when they're up
  Kick 'em when they're down
  Kick 'em when they're stiff
  Kick 'em all around
  
  Dirty little secrets
  Dirty little lies
  We got our dirty little fingers in everybody's pie
  We love to cut you down to size
  We love dirty laundry
  
  We can do "The Innuendo"
  We can dance and sing
  When it's said and done we haven't told you a thing
  We all know that Crap is King
  Give us dirty laundry!