I looked in the mirror
  (What did you see looking at you?)
  I saw a nine stone weakling
  (What will you do?)
  
  Dynamic Tension waiting for you?
  Dynamic Tension make a man out of you
  
  I opened my magazine
  (What did you see?)
  I saw Mr. France
  (What did he have?)
  A girl on each shoulder
  (What else?)
  And one in his pants
  
  Dynamic Tension can do this for you
  Dynamic Tension make a man out of
  You you you you you
  
  So our hero goes down to the beach
  He's in real terrible shape
  His chick's been seen with big Alex
  That mother kicked sand in his face
  Now let me tell you about Alex
  He's got:
  Hands like hams
  Knees like trees
  200 lbs
  Of surfboard Hercules
  
  Mr. Atlas won't you bring her on back to me
  I lost my girl down by the beach
  She's with Alex and she's out of reach
  So please Mr. Atlas won't you bring her on back to me
  I saw your body in an advert on T.V.
  But what convinced me was your money back guarantee
  
  Now I'm stronger than Alex
  (Where is he now?)
  He's left in disgrace
  (Oh yeah?)
  `Cos I took back my girlfriend
  (Ha, ha, ha, ha)
  And kicked sand in his face
  (In his eyes, in his ears, in his nose)
  
  Dynamic Tension waiting for you
  Dynamic Tension make a man out of you
  Dynamic Tension, Dynamic Tension
  Dynamic Tension, Dynamic Tension