These are the thoughts that go through my head
  in my backyard on a sunday afternoon
  when I have the house to myself and I am not
  expending all that energy on fighting
  with my boyfriend
  Is he the one that I will marry
  and why is it so hard to be objective about
  myself why do I feel cellularly alone
  am I supposed to live in this crazy city
  can blindly continued fear-induced regurtitated life-denying tradition
  be overcome
  
  Where does the money go that I send
  to those in need, if we have so much why do some people have nothing
  still why do I feel frantic when I first wake up in the morning
  why do you say you are spiritual, yet you treat people like shit
  
  How can you say you're close to God, and yet you talk behind
  my back as though I'm not a part of you, why do I say "I'm fine"
  when it's obvious I'm not, why's it so hard to tell you what I want
  why can't you just read my mind?
  
  Why do I fear that the quieter I am
  the less you will listen
  why do I care whether you like me or not
  why's it so hard for me to be angry
  why is it such work to stay conscious and so easy to get stuck
  and not the other way around
  
  Will I ever move back to Canada
  Can I be with a lover with whom I am a student
  and a master, oh why am I encouraged to shut my mouth
  when it gets too close to home, why cannot I
  live in the moment