Foolish bride call me up, beg to scratch her itch
  Rich old man got the needle, slipped and dropped a stitch
  Name the time, name the price leave you door unlocked
  I'll bring a toy guaranteed to put the spring in your shock
  Sumthin' for Nuthin'
  Gigolo sounds so cold, call me teacher's pest
  Twice a day, double pay, at my trade I'm the best
  Never late, watch her watch seconds on the clock
  Overtime, break my back, slip and fall in the crack
  Sumthin' for Nuthin'
  Well in and out, it's never free
  Sumthin' for Nuthin'
  Leave the money where it's easy to see
  She plays the role of a roving matriarch
  Diamond rings, fancy things, Dubonnet on the rocks
  For a treat gave it free--happy 63
  Crazy days, easy money--I was just 16
  Easy money for such a good deed
  Sumthin' for Nuthin'
  Ya, in and out is never free
  Sumthin' for Nuthin'
  Satisfaction guaranteed
  Sumthin' for Nuthin'
  Target practice in the dark
  Sumthin' for Nuthin'
  I'm a crack shot on the mark
  And I love my work