I dated Siamese twins
  I slept with Bigfoot, too
  Get me on Sally Jesse
  Put me on Donahue
  'Cause I wanna tell the world about it
  Right Now
    My dog's a narcoleptic
  My mom's a circus freak
  I gotta get a spot on
  Geraldo's show this week
  'Cause I wanna tell the world about it
  Right Now
    I'm just an anorexic codependant bingo addict
  Stripper born without a chin
  And I'm only comfortable talking about it
  When the whole wide world is listening in
    Talk Soup... Talk Soup
  Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me
    My wife ran off with Elvis
  My boss shaved off my hair
  I've got a thing for poodles
  And rubber underwear
  And I wanna tell the world about it
  Right Now
    I had a close encounter
  I never chew my food
  I got eleven nose jobs
  I yodel in the nude
  And I wanna tell the world about it
  Right Now
    I'm just a cross-dressin' alcoholic neo-Nazi
  Porno star, as you may have guessed
  And I'm really gonna feel a whole lot better
  If you let me get this thing off my chest
    Talk Soup... Talk Soup
  Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me
    I'm just your average schizophrenic nymphomaniac
  Albino go-go dancer, you see
  Nothin' so bad that I can't share it
  With a billion friends on national TV, whoa...
    I have no genitalia
  I sold my kids for cheese
  I love my blow up doll, so
  Bring out those cameras, please
  'Cause I wanna tell the world about it
  Right Now
    Talk Soup... Talk Soup
  Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me
    Talk Soup... Talk Soup
  Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me
    Talk Soup... Talk Soup
  Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me
    Talk Soup... Talk Soup
  Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me