We ain't going to the party
  We ain't going to the game
  We ain't going to the disco
  Ain't gonna cruise down main
    We're stealing people's mail
  stealing people's mail
  stealing people's mail
  On a friday night
    Drivin' in the mountains
  Winding 'round and 'round
  Rummage thru your mailboxes
  Take your mail back to town
    And we got license plates, wedding gifts, tax returns
  Checks to politicians from real estate firms
  Money, bills and cancelled checks
  Pretty funny pictures of your kids
    We're gonna steal your mail
  On a Friday night
  We're gonna steal your mail
  By the pale moonlight
    We got grocery sackful after grocery sackful
  After grocery sackful after grocery sackful
  After grocery sackful after grocery sackful
  Of the private lives of you
  Ha Ha
    People say that we're crazy
  We're sick and all alone
  But when we read your letters
  We're rolling on the floor
    We got more license plates, wedding gifts, tax returns
  Checks to politicians from real estate firms
  Money, bills and cancelled checks
  We cut relationships with your friends
    We're gonna steal your mail
  On a Friday night
  We're gonna steal your mail
  By the pale moonlight
    We better not get caught
  We'll be dumped in institutions
  Where we'll be drugged and shocked
  'Til we come out born-again Christians