Outside the carolers start to sing
  I can't describe the joy they bring
  Cause joy is something they don't bring me
    My girlfriend is by my side
  From the roof are hanging sickles of ice
  Their whiny voices get irritating
  It's Christmas time again
    So I stand with a dead smile on my face
  Wondering how much of my time they’ll waste
  Oh God, I hate these Satan’s helpers
    And then I guess I must have snapped
  Because I grabbed the baseball bat
  And made them all run for shelter
    It’s Christmas time, again
  It’s time to be nice to the people you can’t stand, All year
  I’m growing tired of all this Christmas cheer
    You people scare me
  Please stay away from my home
  If you don’t get beat down
  Just leave the presents and let me be alone
    Well, I guess it’s not cool to freak on Christmas Eve
  Cause the cops came and arrested me
  They had an unfair advantage
    And even though the jail didn’t have a tree
  Christmas came a night early
  Cause a guy named Bubba unwrapped my package
    It’s Christmas time, again
  It’s time to be nice to the people you can’t stand, All year
  I’m growing tired of all this Christmas cheer
    You people scare me
  Please stay away from my home
  If you don’t get beat down
  Just leave the presents and let me be alone
    I won’t be home, I won’t be home for Christmas
  I won’t be home, I won’t be home for Christmas