let's go
    one man at the window
  one girl at the bar
  saw that look of recognition
  when they know just who you are
  i seen you on the tv
  i seen you on that show
  you make the people crazy
  and then you let them go
    before the show we calm them
  we sympathise, we care
  and the hostile folk we keep apart
  'til the red light says 'on air'
  did you see our leather lovers
  all tied up to the chair
  did you catch those child molesters
  no one else goes there
    what a show, the barry williams show
  what a show,
  dysfunctional excess
  is all it took for my success
  the greater pain that they endure
  the more you know the show will scored
  it's showtime
    got the reputation of a surgeon
  'cos they cannot feel the cut
  it looks so very simple
  but it really is an art
  they call our studio 'the hospital'
  making money from the sick
  we let people be themselves
  there is no other trick
    'my lover stole my girlfriend'
  'i keep beating up my ex'
  'i want to kill my neighbour'
  'my daughter's selling sex'
  'my s/m lover hurt me'
  'my girl became a man'
  'i love my daughter's rapist
  'my life's gone down the pan'
    what a show, the barry williams show
  the barry williams show
  dysfunctional excess
  is all it took for my success
  and when the punches start to fly
  the ratings always read so high
  it's showtime
    'that girl has got no scruples'
  not a wrinkle on her face
  you would not believe the plot she conceived
  so they'd let her take my place
  well, no man is an island
  no man is a sea
  but this display of emotion
  is all but drowning me
    what a show, oh what a show
  on my show, the barry williams show
  it's my show
  what a show
  dysfunctional excess
  is all it took for my success
    the best tv you've ever seen
  where people say the things that they really mean
  i hear my name, i hear them roar
  for the one more time i take the floor
  just one more barry williams show
  we're gonna take you where you want to go
  it's showtime
    come on down
  come on down