She got a valentine from Gary
  I opened it up it said, “Would you please be mine.”
  I gave her flowers and some candy
  She opened them up and said, “You're trying to
  make me fat.”
    [chorus]
  (now)
  I just want a new girlfriend
  I just want someone to make me laugh
  I just want a new girlfriend
  I just want someone to laugh at me
    not to smart, not to tall,
   likes to watch tv and play basketball
    I bought a car and let her drive it
  She opened the door and said “ Oh bother, this is
  red.”
  I gave her all my notes from algebra
  She opened em up and said , “I can't believe you're
  so stupid.”
    I won't ever make her wash my car, NO!
  I won't ever take a walk, not unless she's there
  Oh, oh, oh, oh!