"Okay...
  This is a song that uhh..
  There's a lot of Christmas songs out there and uhh..
  not too many Chanukah songs.
  So uhh..
  I wrote a song for all those nice little Jewish kids who don't get to hear
  any Chanukah songs.
  Here we go..."
    Put on your yarmulke
  Here comes Chanukah
  So much funukah
  To celebrate Chanukah
  Chanukah is the festival of lights
  Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights
    When you feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree
  Here's a list of people who are Jewish just like you and me
  David Lee Roth lights the menorah
  So do James Caan, Kirk Douglas, and the late Dinah Shore-ah
    Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli
  Bowser from Sha Na Na and Arthur Fonzerelli
  Paul Newman's half Jewish, Goldie Hawn's half too
  Put them together, what a fine lookin' Jew
    You don't need "Deck The Halls" or "Jingle Bell Rock"
  'Cause you can spin a dreidel with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock- both Jewish
    Put on your yarmulke
  It's time for Chanukah
  The owner of the Seattle Supersonicahs
  Celebrates Chanukah
    O.J. Simpson, not a Jew
  But guess who is? Hall of famer Rod Carew- he converted
  We got Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby
  Harrison Ford's a quarter Jewish- not too shabby
    Some people think that Ebenezer Scrooge is
  Well he's not, but guess who is
  All three Stooges
  So many Jews are in showbiz
  Tom Cruise isn't, but I heard his agent is
    Tell your friend Veronica
  It's time to celebrate Chanukah
  I hope I get a harmonicah
  Oh this lovely, lovely Chanukah
  So drink your gin and tonicah
  And smoke your marijuanikah
  If you really, really wannakah
  Have a happy, happy, happy, happy Chanukah
  Happy Chanukah