blame it on la lanne
  when something goes wrong
  that sweatsuited scapegoat
  for the exercising bomb
  put the blame on jack la lanne
  he's our man
    my lawn turned yellow
  my goldfish died
  i squirted some ben-gay
  right in my eye
    he's the fucking cause
  that sweatsuited scapegoat
  with the atomic sock
  when he exercises me
  i know he doesn't shower
  when i see him beatin' meat
  he makes me want to shower.