I used to lead a quiet life
  In fact it was a bare existence
  I passed out on many floors
  I don't do that any more
    Hello my friends
  Is everybody happy?
  Hey look me over
  Lend me an ear
  I'm a conservative
    I like the small black marks on my hands
  I'm a conservative
  I like the crazy girls that I screw
  Hey I know them all well
    And when I run out of bread I laugh
  All the way to the bank
  Sometimes I pause for a drink
  Conservatism ain't no easy job
    I smile in the mornings
  I live without a care
  Nothing is denied me
  And nothing ever hurts
    I got bored so I'm making my millions
  When you're conservative you get a better break
  You're always on the rigltt side
  When you're conservative
    You walk with pride
  Pride is on your side
  Pride pride pride
  Is on our side
  Oh boy
  Pride is on our side
    I like my beer
  I like my bread
  I love my girl
  I love my head
    I'm in the clear man
  I'm in the dear
  Because I'm a conservative
  I'm a conservative
  I really am
  Ohyeslam
    And it would mean so much to me
  If you would only be like me
  Yes it could mean so much to me
    Hey look me over
  Lend me an ear
  I'm a conservative