Sugar-coated girlfriends don't mean anything to me
  This song's about a girl who's soft and warm and cheap
  when I held her close to me she melted right away
  Velveeta was her name
  Velveeta, Velveeta, Velveeta...
    All my friends keep telling me
  "Frank, you must be sick.
  How can you have fun with a gooey processed chick?"
  But she's much more than that
  she's got a heart of gold
  and she does what she's told
  Velveeta, Velveeta, Velveeta...
    I want to tell her that I'll never go away
  but she keeps showing me her expiration date
    Girls may come, girls may go, but I know one thing for sure
  they stock Velveeta at the local grocery store
  and she'll be on the shelf until the end of time
  when we have to say goodbye
  Velveeta, Velveeta, Velveeta...