AHHHH...The Lord is a monkey
  Thanksgiving's coming on the Fourth of July
  In the form of a girl with a needle in her eye
  Well she come from out west on a nickel's worth of gas
  Got her mind on her money and a dope up her ass
  Outside of Phenix she was kinda broke down
  Burned a cracker-boy rig and she was out of that town.
  HA HA HA HAA
  Well she was a hairy creature in the ashwam bed
  She was sellin' more skies had a funky-ass head
  Well she played with my mouth and she threw me on the bed
  And she cut off my balls and she sewed em to my head
  Well she's headin' back east in a 67 Caddy
  Got her mind on her money and a dope for her daddy
  Well I met her on the street where she beat me like a fool
  Then she got me accepted to an ivy league school
  Well I really did good but it's kickin' my ass
  I lost 38 pounds and my eye turned to glass
  Well she's looking pretty good first week in July
  She's got a dope up her ass and a needle in her eye
  Thanksgivings coming on the Fourth of July
  In the form of a girl with a needle in her eye
  Well she come from out west on a nickel's worth of gas
  Got her mind on her money and a dope up her ass