[Originally by Joe Jackson]
    Happy Loving Couples
  I've just been to see my best friend
  He's got another girl
  Says she's just about the best thing
  In the whole damn world
    And he says can't you see what the little lady's done for me
  Says it like he thinks I'm blind
  But the things that you see ain't necessarily the things you can find
    Happy loving couples make it look so easy
  Happy loving couples always talk so kind
  Until the time that I can do my dancing with a partner
  Those happy couples ain't no friends of mine
    People say I'm too damn fussy
  When it comes to girls
  Happy couples say I must live
  In a lonely world
    Wanna be, wanna really be what my friends pretend to be
  Be it in my own good time
  Being kind to myself till I become one of two of a kind
    Happy loving couples make it look so easy
  Happy loving couples always talk so kind
  Until the time that I can do my dancing with a partner
  Those happy couples ain't no friends of mine
    You ain't no friends of mine
    You know what I mean
  Happy loving couples
  In matching lamb turtle-neck sweaters
  Reading Ideal Homes magazine
  Yeah!
    Wanna be, wanna really be what my friends pretend to be
  Be it in my own good time
  Being kind to myself till I become one of two of a kind
    Happy loving couples make it look so easy
  Happy loving couples always talk so kind
  Until the time that I can do my dancing with a partner
  Those happy couples ain't no friends of mine
    You ain't no friends of mine
  You ain't no friends of mine
  You ain't no friends of mine
  You ain't no friends of mine
  You ain't no friends of mine
    Right, that's enough