I wake up every morning, Six o'clock, I`m right on time
  I eat a low fat breakfast, I tie a perfect tie
  I kiss the wife, I hug the kids, I pat the dogs and cats
  I never lose anything, my car keys or my hat
    'Cause I`m the man of the year
  I`m the man of the year
    I never cheat at finals, or miss a day at school
  My urine tests are perfect, my prostate is a jewel
    'Cause I`m the man of the year
  I`m the man of the year
  'Cause I`m the man of the year
  I`m never, ever jealous
  Never, ever cruel
  I`m a graduate of Harvard
  Where I never broke the rules
    The queen made me a knight
  The pope made me a saint
  The president plays golf with me
  I make Madonna faint
    So why am I so lonely
  Depressed and in despair
  If I pull this trigger in my mouth will anybody care
    It was the greatest funeral, I laid in perfect state
  And later I will meet the lord, I bet he just can`t wait
    To meet the man of the year
  I`m the man of the year
  Stand in line to meet the man
  I`m the man, I`m the man, I`m the man