Ahhh...sweet youth
  The joys of becoming a teenage prostitute
  Or in my case a blood-crazed gladiator
  Til I got stuck on this planet and got hooked
  on the weed and the crack and the booze and the pills and the speed
  And the sex and the mud and blood and the shit
  Let's go hit the
  Nitro-burning funny bong
  Just one hit, your life goes wrong
  Nitro-burning funny bong
  Another stupid stoner song
  Fat and lame
  The claws have been clipped and the tigers been tamed
  By a bong, and a schlong
  Yes now we have all seen how games can go wrong
  My brains filled with bees and my cock is diseased
  Laden with pus it hangs well past my knees
  A swarm of narcotics could get me through this
  My manager's gonna be pissed
  Let's go hit the
  Nitro-burning funny bong
  Just one hit, your life goes wrong
  Nitro-burning funny bong
  Another stupid stoner song
  Oh, can you take it
  Yeah, do a monster
  Oh, can you deal with it?
  We won't respect you unless you get high with the boys
  Now I'm old
  Strapped in my cell as I cultivate mold
  In the twilight of my years
  I am still a drug addict
  I'm sucking all night long on a ten foot bong
  Moistened with lotion,
  wrapped in a sarong I live like a king
  but you know that I act like a faggot
  Once was a warrior, now just a sponge
  High all the time got a dick like a muskellunge
  My glorious destiny it turned to shit
  Can I get another hit?
  From the Nitro-burning funny bong
  Just one hit, your life goes wrong
  Nitro-burning funny bong
  Another stupid stoner song
  Oh, can you take it
  Yeah, do a monster
  Oh, can you deal with it?
  We won't respect you unless you get high with the boys