An old man turned ninety-eight
  He won the lottery and died the next day
  It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
  It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
  And isn't it ironic...dontcha think
    It's like rain on your wedding day
  It's a free ride when you've already paid
  It's the good advice that you just didn't take
  Who would've thought...it figures
    Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
  He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
  He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
  And as the plane crashed down he thought
  "Well isn't this nice..."
  And isn't it ironic...dontcha think
    It's like rain on your wedding day
  It's a free ride when you've already paid
  It's the good advice that you just didn't take
  Who would've thought...it figures
    Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
  When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
  And life has a funny way of helping you out when
  You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
  In your face
    A traffic jam when you're already late
  A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
  It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
  It's meeting the man of my dreams
  And then meeting his beautiful wife
  And isn't it ironic...dontcha think
  A little too ironic...and yeah I really do think...
    It's like rain on your wedding day
  It's a free ride when you've already paid
  It's the good advice that you just didn't take
  Who would've thought...it figures
    Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
  Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
  Helping you out