If you choose me over him
   I'll make you proud, I'll make you grin
   I'll write a poem about your smile
   I'll buy you hats cause I dig your style
   I'll tell all my buddies how good you kiss
   While I'm away only you I'll miss
   I'll share my records and stay really clean
   I'll never fuss nor be mean
   In front of all your friends, I'll kiss your ass
   I'll leave behind my violent past
   If you choose me, if you choose me
   Why won't you choose me over him
   If you choose me over him, I'll make you proud
   On me you can depend
   To be nice to your momma, take your daddy fishin'
   I'll make you biscuits then clean the kitchen
   There will be credit cards for all your desires
   We can walk in the park
   And hold hands for hours
   I'll rub your feet I'll scratch your back
   I'll brush your hair and then comb it back
   We'll find that old boyfriend who treated you bad
   You can cuss him out while I kick his ass
   I'll wash your clothes, I'll pay the bills
   You can paint the bedroom anyway you feel
   I'll quit cussin' and lose 10 pounds
   I'll swear you're skinny when you get round