Why do I need a job, why do I need a job
   I feel so free, I got nowhere to be
   So why so I need a job
   I once worked for an old bastard
   Who always pushed me to work faster
   He made fun of me
   Cause my hair was green
   He tried to stick his hands into my jeans
   My girlfriend is a stripper in Abilene
   She likes me to stay home and watch TV.
   She pays for my food,
   She likes to be rude
   She undresses her friends for me
   I don't have a clue
   What I wanna do
   Maybe I could invent
   Something cool
   Or I could do time
   For committing a crime
   Then sue for a million
   Or two
   I traded my car for a van
   Filled it with gas, guitars and this band
   They pay us with beer,
   We stole all this gear
   So why don't ya'll
   Give us a hand