It's a small town life and I like it
   'Cause the bad don't get in your way
   There's an angry God gonna strike it
   Yeah, that's what we pay him for, that's why we pray
   Well I guess the angry God he was a-fishing
   When Molly called me up with the news
   Within the space of a week
   Yeah, a pervert or a sex freak
   Let the kids take a peek
   That's more than a little cheek
   No pun intended
  
   Ay-yi-yipee-yipee-yi-yi-ay
   Going east of Mississippi got a flinty kind of woman
   And you don't act smart and you don't touch my children
   If the young man wants to see the sun go down
  
   Well there was no time fooling with the trifles
   So there was no use in telling the men
   They would just go running for their rifles
   And then once you got him couldn't get him again
   So Peg got a bolt of fishing tackle
   And Marge got her gardening clips
   And Sally LaBiche put her hound on a leash
   And the timer on the quiche, she's kind of nouveau riche
   But we like her
  
   Ay-yi-yipee-yipee-yi-yi-ay
   Going east of Mississippi got a flinty kind of woman
   And you don't act fresh and you don't touch my children
   If the young man wants to see the sun go down
  
   It was the kids who spotted him a running
   As we drove through the harbor fog
   And that's when we got our engines gunning
   'Cause we knew he was headed for the cranberry bog
   We got our hip-high rubber boots strapped on
   And Molly got the big flashlights out
   And by the "Welcome to New England" sign
   Got him with the fishing line
   In the dark smell of brine
   Betty said "This one is mine."
   She is ruthless
  
   Ay-yi-yipee-yipee-yi-yi-ay
   Going east of Mississippi got a flinty kind of woman
   And you just say no and you don't touch my children
   If the young man wants to see the sun go down
  
   Well we didn't have to drag him and a-jail him
   'Cause you don't have to take it so far
   When your roots go back to Old Salem
   And you've got a local chapter of the DAR
   Now I don't go tooting on my lobsters
   'Cause your pride doesn't go with your plaid
   But it's a victory won and it couldn't be done
   By the hippy-dippy flaky-shaky fun-in-the-sun
   Braless wonders
  
   Ay-yi-yipee-yipee-yi-yi-ay
   Going east of Mississippi got a flinty kind of woman
   And you know your place and you don't touch my children
   If the young man wants to see the sun go down
   If the young man wants to see the sun go down