When you say goodbye I really want to know
   Everything you do and everyplace you go
   And did you take a regular supply
   Of those crazy little tampax with you
   It hurts me deep inside, it hurts me outside too
   I feel a little pardon and I feel a little used
   If you ever needed someone to polish up your shoes
   I'll be waiting, with my brush
   I'd move to Italy with you if I had the money
   But 'til then I'll sit at home and read maps and go to pub
   Where the weather isn't sunny and the weather isn't bad
   Where the bellies look so happy but the faces look so sad
   But it doesn't really matter what's outside
   'Cause I'm in here and he's in here
   And she's in here and they're in here
   We're all in here, we're all so glad
  
   And in our own funny way we're all in Italy anyay
   Eating fancy pasta, climbing mountain ranges
   Drinking ice-cold lagers, living in Spanish castles
   We're all with you, in our thoughts
   In white ankle socks and pink bermuda shorts
   I'll be with you, with you one day, we'll all be with you, with you one day
   One sunny beach, one sunny life, we're all glad for you
   But 'til then, we're all glad for you, I'm so glad
  
   I am a man, and I have a tent, I have a ball and a bat
   I have a li-lo, I have a bucket
   I have a good, good, good pair of trunks
   I've got a good, good pair of trunks
  
   Well here I am at the airport, with my passport
   I have a brain but only just, and we're all glad
   We're all so glad, I'm so glad, she's so glad, he's so glad
   You know how glad I am?