Wiped out down the stairs
  I'll bet you there's a song in there
  I'm not sure I'm prepared to write it down
  That guy should be me
  I'd look much better on t.v.
  Then the world would see
  That I can do anything
    I can be that
  But soon you'll see that
  I will never do anything
    Let's play tic tac toe
  I'll play X, you can be the O.
  Thoughts of turning pro
  Have crossed my mind
  I could make a mint
  Fill my pockets with more than lint
  I'll give you a hint
  It involves the "internet"
    I can be that
  But soon you'll see that
  I will never do anything
  I can be that
  But soon you'll see that
  I will never do anything
    Don't write me off as an also ran
  Just mark me down as an angry man
  Got a big chip, you want a fat lip?
  How 'bout a mouthful of Chiclets?
  Life passed me by, but it's not my fault
  I'll lick my wounds, could you pass the salt?
  I can be that, but soon you'll see that
  I will never do anything
    If I were the king
  All my subjects they would dance and sing
  They could kiss my ring
  And kiss my ass
  When I'm old and grey
  I'll look back on my life and say
  "Give me one more day,
  And I'll still never do anything."
    I can be that
  but soon you'll see that
  I will never do anything
  I can be that
  But soon you'll see that
  I will never do anything
  I can be that
  But soon you'll see that
  I will never do anything
  I can be that
  But soon you'll see that
  I will never do anything